The feeling is back... dont know why... dont want it back because I dont know what it means..... God it is just weird... it is like a depressing feeling but not... I don’t know why I get this way… it makes me seem like a whiny teenager.. Which I am neither. I have been think a lot about one thing and I should not… I also attach myself to much to people. I think that is my biggest flaw. I don’t know why I do it… I think for every girl I ever get interested in I will scare away by getting to attached to fast. I need to get a buzz again… Don’t worry I will not let myself become a drunk and I wont let myself get really bad like a lot of my friends… I just like the buzz point… I mean you don’t worry much.. you know you will have to deal with stuff after you sober up but you are able to take the chance with saying things while on a buzz…. I don’t think I would have ever been able to say some of the stuff to this one girl if I did not have that buzz… I meant what I said but I would not have been able too….I don’t have the confidence to say how I feel to a girl… well I just don’t feel like sitting here wining to you people because that is what a lot of blogs are… true that is there point but I don’t know … ttyal :-\